The past few months have been rough.
In my transition back to being a working mom,
I feel like I’m falling short everywhere.
I feel like I can't please anyone.
I feel like I'm failing at everything.
It's been difficult and stressful, to say the least.
But I truly believe that God is doing some deep pruning in my life.
Pruning means to trim by cutting away what's dead or overgrown, especially to increase fruitfulness and growth.
By constantly falling short, God's trimming the big lie that I am self-sufficient.
("Apart from me you can do nothing" - John 15:5)
By not pleasing anyone, God's cutting back the idolatry of people-pleasing in my life.
("Fear of man will prove to be a snare" -Proverbs 29:25)
By failing at every turn, God's clipping away at my perfectionism.
("all sin and fall short of the glory of God " -Romans 3:23)
The pruning process has been humbling.
And painful.
But I also know, it’s really, really good.
After all, Jesus said:
“Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit, He prunes it so that it may bear more fruit” (John 15:2).
I find it incredibly encouraging and loving that God is choosing to "prune me" to be able to "bear more fruit." I feel uplifted and hopeful knowing that through this pruning process, ground is breaking in my soul to grow in character and virtue to be able to live more fruitfully for His Kingdom purposes.
It reminds me that
"the LORD disciplines those he loves, and he chastens each one he accepts as his child" (Hebrews 12:6).
Just as we as mothers discipline our children out of love for them because they are ours and we want what's best for them, we can be encouraged the God the Father disciplines those that are his children out of love for us too. Instead of feeling punished, we can feel loved. Rather than feeling hopeless, we can find hope in knowing that we belong to God and He is doing a good thing in us.
As God trims away at the pride, fear of man, and perfectionism in my life, I'm remembering that anything I do for His Kingdom will be done through His help and for His glory alone. This knowledge is drawing me closer to God in deep dependence, and I'm reminded that a relationship with Him is all I need anyways and the only way I'll ever be able to produce any real fruit.
In what ways is God pruning you right now? Please know that it is good and you are loved.
“It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? 8 If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. 9 Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. 11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it“ (Hebrews 12:7-1).
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